Offerings

Back to Arizona! Only for a weekend. There's one thing I really miss about it, driving through the desert. Beautiful! How much I really love driving in the openness of space. No cares or worries, complete surrendering to your journey on the open rode. I was going  back for the opportunity to study for the first time of many with John Friend but also to see the kula, my friends. How much I miss them. How much they are a part of my practice, my life, my teachings, even though we all are  in different paths and destinations. We still come back to the center were it all begins. We return here again once we fully understand that we are always here.

I was humbled and honored to have practiced with people that were my mentors, to be a student, just "Watch" what is. Surrender to my awareness allowing it to flow like wind and water. Yes, the practice was intense. Intensity doesn't always mean a challenging practice which tends to be the case for a lot of people. For me, intensity is transformation that breaks your heart wide open to shed light where its dark, the mind remaining flexible in any circumstances ,  to live authentically by having character and integrity, to face ourselves at the deepest levels of our being both the good and the bad without holding anything back and seeing the goodness in our actions, as well as others with love. This is the essence of a yoga practice.

Driving back home, a long drive, I contemplated What do I offer? The Maha Vakyam, which means in Sanskrit a Great Statement. What do I offer to my students, to life, the people who remain presently in my life and the new ones that enter, my practice,  most importantly to myself as a teacher? Through humility the answer was simple,  To be of service to others, to expand my devotional awareness so I can transform my students and the people in my life be filled  with peace, love and joy, accept and offer my whole heart, both good and bad, with out hiding my authenticity, and no matter where I am look for the good with wonder even in the mystery of it. This is my highest practice. Practicing regularly with clarity and intensity.

Tonight I randomly came upon a quote. I believe it wasn't so random but a reminder to remember:

"Just as a flower gives out its fragrance to whomever approaches or use it, so love from within us radiates toward everybody and manifests as spontaneous service"...Swami Ramdas

Beginnings...

 I still remember the question my guru asked the class before we got started. "Do you remember what  you were doing or did  last New years day? Hell, I can't even remember my own self at times. Can you remember the "Tone?" The tone you set will depict how your year will be." Huge difference from a new years resolution, quite frankly we just don't keep them and go back to being complacent. I've never forgotten that statement. I've never forgotten how I felt at that very moment.  Something was starting to awaken inside me. Someone was knocking at my door. The question was did I have enough courage to answer? Not only answer did I have enough courage to walkout through the door instead of just peeking through. It has always baffled me how we  always have reasons on why we shouldn't do things instead of just doing them. Worst thing in life is living with regrets and wondering what could have been. Really, whats the worst thing that can happen? I believe if we all were to follow our own gut instincts, really listen to it, instead of listening to the itty bitty shitty committee, we wouldn't complex our own minds which in turn complexes our own lives. Thinking is always the problem.
I decided to embark on a journey. Never gave it a second thought. Some people would,  then again Why? I was like everyone else in the world working long tedious hours and constantly giving of myself. My reservoir was empty. You start to reach a point in your life, where questions start to arise. The greater purpose. You might think of it as a mid life crisis. I don't think there's truth in that. I truly believe there's an inner light inside us that lights up at a certain point in our life if we are aware of it. In the first chapter  Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, he speaks of an inner light we all carry that is free from all sorrow and grief no matter how much we are experiencing suffering, even if its a tiny spark  we sometimes forget it is there. We also forget who we are.  The light that resided inside me, was shining brightly like a beacon, which is always signaling in case you get lost , so that you find yourself again or just plainly find YOURSELF.
I started to find myself on my yoga mat. With every asana, every breath, every sweat, every purification, every discomfort, I would find an aspect of myself. Like putting a puzzle together from a million pieces. Just when you think that everything has fallen apart, they are actually coming into place. And that's where I was at.

I am a Yogi.
I am a Teacher.
I am a Friend.
I am a Woman.
I know what I know because I know. Life itself has been my greatest teacher along with the people that have accompanied me in this lifetime. There are times where I do not know anything. That's okay. We 're not suppose too. It's taking accountability and responsibility for that statement with authenticity than acting upon the ego. My journey has been quite a ride. Some with challenges with a lesson needed to be learned and some with opportunities which at times we tend to miss. Frankly, living our life purpose does not always come the easiest. With great humility I can vocalize the roller coaster ride was sweet. I welcomed it all. Uncomfortable or not, good or bad, happy or sad, it was more how I faced adversity, acted on my fears with courage, staying in my inner peace when everything around was falling apart. It is being human and all the experiences with it. Unfortunately we don't allow ourselves to experience it fully. Our focus is how much we can stay in control. It never really is in our control to begin with. Seasons change, so does the days, our lives, partners, and ourselves. Life is a privilege.